Have you ever tried to reason with with a 2 year old?

Were you surprised with their negotiation skills?

Well, my son is now almost 2 and half years old and has suddenly discovered that he has a will - a very strong will at that. Typical of children his age, he is far more interested in getting what he wants than with complying with his mother or father's wishes.

It seems to me that as children we tend to be assertive rather than accommodating in our interaction with others. We are only concerned with satisfying our own needs and wants rather than satisfying the needs and wants of those around us.

It is only as we mature that we learn the world does not in fact revolve around us and that we have to fit into our environment in a responsible and positive way. We learn that we can not only do as we wish but also have to think about the rights, feelings and desires of others.

This made me think about the 5 basic negotiation strategies and how you can use them to support the achievement of your negotiation targets.

1.Competitive negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation that is primarily assertive and focused on your own needs, desires and targets.

2.Accommodating negotiation

This is a way of negotiation that is primarily focused on the needs, wants and targets of your counterparts whilst ignoring your own needs. Sales training courses often advocate this negotiation approach as the most suitable strategy.

3.Compromising negotiation

Probably the most universally known of all negotiation strategies. This is a mode of negotiation where you meet your counterparts halfway. You get some of your needs, wants and targets met and you do the same for your counterpart.

4.Collaborative negotiation

This is a mode of negotiation where you try to meet all of the needs, wants and objectives of your counterpart and they do the same for you.

5.Avoiding negotiation

This is a style of interaction where you do not regard negotiation as the best way to achieve your objectives.

The critical factors which will determine which of the above approaches should be in your negotiations is to answer the following 3 questions:

a.How important is an ongoing relationship to you?

If the relationship is important, then you will not be able to be only assertive, you will have to at least compromise with your counterpart. If you do not meet the desires of your counterparts, then it is not likely that a meaningful relationship will develop.

b.How many options are available to you?

If you have many alternatives available, you can afford to be more competitive. On the other hand, if you have only one option, then you will be required to be more accommodating.

c.How much time do you have available?

If you have a lot of time available, then you can afford to be more competitive. The less time available to you, the more accommodating you will have to be.

As you can see, it is important to ask yourself these three questions before you start negotiating so that you can select the approach most suited to the situation at hand rather than just pursuing a negotiation strategy solely based on your preference.

It is also important to remember that you should be flexible in your approach. You may want to change your strategy as new information becomes available during your negotiations.

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